No need to Smile
by Sparklyglitterglue
Summary: I won't go into the light. Why do I have to hide behind my smile? How are you the only one that understands? Why don't I hide behind my smile for you?
1. Chapter 1

Hazel Pov.

I can't believe how fast everything has been happening. Winter and Hope get along. Sawyer's gone, but coming home in an hour. When did life start moving so fast?

"Hazel, are you coming to help put up the streamers?" My dad yelled.

"Ya, I'll be right down." I yelled back.

We were decorating the aquarium for Sawyer's return and I was in charge of putting streamers up around Winter and Hopes pool while everyone set up around the outside of the building.

I was standing on the ladder taping up the streamers when Winter and Hope started splashing the water at me. So when I started to climb down the ladder I slipped and began to fall into the pool below.

I began to sink. Winter screeched. She tried to push me above water, but then I would just go back under. Hope would screech every once and a while. I would go in and out of consciousness. My head and back hurt like crazy. Then I heard a familiar scream, "Hazel! Clay! Winter!"

Sawyer. I knew that voice anywhere.

"Hope." I only had to say one word and she screeched.

"Winter! Hope! What's wrong?"

I heard footsteps.

I could feel my eyes closing.

"Hazel!" I looked up to see Sawyer's face.

"Sawyer." I said my voice weak.

"Hazel, stay awake. How long were you down there?" His voice was obviously worried.

I wasn't in the water anymore.

"About a hour." His eyes widened.

"My head hurts."

"I know. Just look at me and stay awake." He lifted me off the ground.

"Does anyone know your here?" I looked up at him.

"No, I came in through the back. Where is everyone?"

"Out front. I think."

I looked at his face. It started to burr and then darkness.

"Hello! Where am I?" I screamed into darkness.

Light appeared and I saw a face I never thought I'd see again.

"Mom!" I hugged her afraid if I let go she would disappear.

"Turn around." I let go of her and saw Sawyer holding me on the ground crying.

"I've missed you, Mom. Why'd you have go go? I need you. Sometimes I just feel so alone. Sawyer has been gone for forever and Dad is usually to busy." I cried.

"I know, but it was my time and I couldn't do anything about it."

"I know that mom, but it still hurts. Everyday I wonder if your proud of me and if your watching me, but I always think your to busy to pay attention. Dad always tells me that you loved me more than anything, but if never helps. I pretend to be fine. In front of Dad, it's like I'm hiding behind a smile. I know I'm not the only one that misses you, but I think I miss you the most. You left when I was 7. I didn't know that I was saying goodbye forever. No matter how much I cry and try to forget or move on it still hurts." I broke down in tears.

"I know it does, but keep fighting. Don't go into the light."

My eyes opened to appear Sawyer's crying face.

"Hazel, I thought you were going to to leave me." He cried.

"Don't worry, I'm not going into the light just yet." I smiled remembering what my mom told me.

"Come on. Let's go find everybody." He smiled and lifted me up again.

"I'm surprised that after how much noise Hope and Winter made no one bothered to check on them." He opened the door.

"Doctor Clay!"

"Sawyer, your- Hazel! What happened?" Dad asked franticly.

"She fell into Winter and Hope's pool and was apparently in there for a hour."

Hazel suddenly burst into tears.

"Hazel, what's wrong?" Dad looked at me worried.

"I saw mom."

"What? Did you hit your head?"

"Yes, but I really did see her. She told me not to go in to the light."

"Sawyer, set her down. We need to check her injuries." Hazel hissed in pain when they laid her on her back.

"What hurts?"

"My back and head."

"So you probably don't appreciate me laying you on your back."

"Not at all."

They rolled me onto my stomach.

"Hazel, stay here. Don't move."

A few minutes later, my dad and Sawyer returned with Ms. Nelson , but then my dad drug Sawyer away.

"Hazel, what happened? She looked at me worried.

"Well this is what climbing down a wet ladder can do to you."

"How about we go back to my house and get you cleaned up."

She helped me get to the car and then drove away.

"I guess your glad Sawyer is finally back home." She smiled.

"Ya, I'm my glad my family is finally back together."

"It seems like your glad he's home too."

"Ya, I guess. It's just just I wanted today to be perfect, but instead I almost drown."

"No matter what happened you to reuniting is perfect."

"I know that, but Sawyer is the only person that I don't have to hide behind a smile in front of."

"Here we are." She helped me out of the car and laid me down on the couch.

"Don't move, I'm going to go get some bandages For your back." She returned a few minutes later with a few rolls of bandages.

She began to roll them around my torso while I laid on my stomach. She brought me over to a chair while she unrolled the couch. She disappeared into the next room and I went over to lay down on the couch bed.

She returned a few minutes later with a thick blanket and a cold wash cloth. She began put the blanket over my body and put the washcloth on my forehead.

Before I knew it I faded into darkness.

I opened my eyes and saw Sawyer's face.

I looked at him with a blank expression.

"Smile." He looked at my face.

"No, with you I don't have to."


	2. Not an update!

**I've had a few messages asking me to continue this story. Should I keep writing or leave it as it is?**

** -Sparklyglitterglue**


	3. Realizations

Some people say I'm lucky, but I'm not as lucky as I may seem to be.

My mom died.

I made one promise to her and I'm not sure if I can keep it.

I literally have to hide who I am.

Only one person in life understands me.

Sawyer Nelson.

He's the only one who is stopping me from doing something I will regret.

I have to admit the day I fell off the ladder in to the pool, I wanted to drown.

I wanted to make Winter stop trying to save me.

I wanted to disappear.

I wanted to take that last breath and die.

On that day I was hiding who I really am from myself.

There are two reasons I want to disappear.

1. No one knows who I really am.

2. I want to be with mom.

There are also things holding me here.

Sawyer.

Dad.

Winter.

Hope.

The aquarium.

Life.

My future.

If I died I would hurt Dad. When Mom died, he cried. He cried a lot. He would barely talk during those days. Sometimes he wouldn't even come eat dinner. I can't do that to him.

Sawyer. He cried when I went unconscious. I can't even imagine what would happen to him if I died. I feel like he would come after me. I would hate myself if he did. He has a life ahead of him. He deserves to live.

Winter and Hope. They are two of my best friends. I can't imagine life without them even if I was with Mom.

The aquarium. If Dad does something wrong. If he becomes depressed. The aquarium will shut down. Winter and Hope will probably be separate. They would separate Sawyer and Winter. They need each other.

I don't want to be known as the girl who gave up. The girl who was lived at the marine hospital. The girl who ended her life.

Even if I hadn't it realized until now it doesn't matter.

I do have reasons to **Smile_._**_  
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**_I decided I would continue the story. Sorry for the short chapter._**

**_ -Sparklyglitterglue_**


	4. Chapter 4

My life is wonderful.

I know what I'm fighting for.

I have a secret.

Its so big I can't even tell myself.

This is about the time I start to miss Mom.

I could really use her advice.

"Hazel! Are you up there?" Sawyer screamed from below the crow's nest.

"Ya, why?"

"They picked up a stranding. It's a male bottle nose."

"I'm coming down."

As soon as my feet touched the ground, Sawyer and I ran as fast as we could towards the aquarium.

"Dad! Where are you?" Dad walked through the door towards us.

"Hazel, I need you to stay with Hope and Winter. Sawyer, come with me."

Before I could do anything Sawyer started following Dad in the other direction, so I just started towards Winter and Hope's pool.

"Hey girls."

Winter started making the tweety bird sound at me. Soon enough Hope joined in too.

"What do you want Winter? Duck?" I held the duck ring near her nose and she did what I had feared.

She flipped me into the water. I grabbed onto her fin and we started swimming around the pool with Hope swimming beside us.

There's something amazing about dolphins. They are almost human or are we just little dolphin. In the water, they can do whatever we do, but it's almost like they wait for us to do it before they try.

They can flip.

They can swim.

They can twirl.

They can wave.

They can jump and dive.

In their own way it makes them a little human.

To me that doesn't matter.

To me they are human.

They're my friends.

It doesn't matter what they are.

No matter what they will always be my friends.

I was hugging Winter as close as possible.

"I will always love you."

"Hazel, he's here." I heard Sawyer from the other side of the room.

He came and sat on the platform. His feet dangling in the water.

I swam over to him and sat beside him.

"Just like I told Winter, I will always love you."

We found ourselves leaning towards each other lips apart.

Then it sparked.

**sorry for the short chapter. I'll update soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

We kissed.

We kissed.

We actually kissed.

My wish came true.

I can **Smile**.

**Preview To chapter 5.**


	6. Chapter 6

We slowly pulled away gazing into each other's eyes.

"Sawyer, do you ever feel like life isn't worth living. Like the world would be better off without you."

"I used to. You know before you, Winter, and the aquarium."

"Sawyer, can I tell you something."

"Sure." He looked at me a little worried.

"Well, the day you came back-you know when I went unconscious. At first everything was black and I was scared, but then I saw my mom. For a while I talked to her about my feelings and all that and I was happy, but then she looked at me with a upset face and I knew it was time for me to go. She said one last thing to me before she left. She told me not to go into the light. I promised her, but sometimes I want to break that promise."

"Please promise me you will never break that promise." He said worriedly.

"I promise. Now I have you to help me." I layed my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For giving me something to smile about."

He smiled at me.


End file.
